Possessiveness....The truth !!!

Possessiveness : a quality of human nature that goes hand in hand throughout the life. The root "poss" mean self and means when you wish to possess something you want to make that object or the person become the part of your physical self, when it is not possible you try to do this by expressing the right on the object or the person. whenever you say " YOU ARE MINE!!!" you are exercising the same feeling of right. This feeling is not just meant for the lovers or husband -wife , but it is the part of every relation.

Possessiveness, rational or otherwise, peaks in the toddler years, often turning playtime into a pint-sized battleground. While most toddlers enjoy the company of other children their own age, they are more successful at parallel play, where they do the same activity or copy each others actions but don't necessarily directly interact. In other words, they like being near each other but not too close!. The idea of sharing toys or favorite people is difficult for kids to grasp. When a baby found his mother with some other one..or even playing or pampering some other kid. A strong feeling of possessiveness can be seen on his face and actions. He can never see his mother with some kid because he feels only he possess the right to be the part of her affection.

Look at the picture above: Don't you think it is the most lovable couple in the world.Yes, it's the couple of father-daughter.It has been noticed and proved that fathers are more inclined towards their daughters.In Indian rituals, it has been said that fathers loose the right on their daughters after their marriage. It's true but you can't erase the feeling of possessiveness that he has for his daughter. 

Again, the most pure relation in the world: mother and the son..We have seen the possessiveness from the side of the baby few minutes before.Now, lets see what the heart of the mother says!!! whenever the mother find his son appreciating some other lady, she always feel insecurity for herself.

Now move on  to the age of 6- 8 years, you can easily see the expressions of the other girl at the closeness of the other two!!! It's really genuine, just recall your childhood days when you are so many friends and one of your close friend share his lunch with some other fellow!!! didn't you feel that your friend is your possession and felt yourself ignored...i hope I am successful in taking you back to your kindergarten days...

Lets move on!!! Now the age of 18-20 years...You can be doubtful to accept your friendship as the strong one but I am sure you can't deny to accept the feeling of possessiveness that you have for your friends.Sometimes, when your friends are not able to give time to you, due to some or the other reasons, you definitely feel ignored because you consider your friend to be your possession. In the meantime, you also forget that each human being has his own personal life and boundary where no-one is allowed to enter. So, all these emotions lead to distances and separation. Sometimes, this kind of possessiveness gives rise to jealousy which is really harmful and disastrous because it ruins the relations very easily.

"U ARE MINE AND ONLY MINE!!!" this is the common statement that has been in use by all the lovers once or the other time.Most of the people are possessive on their girl friend or boy friend. This is actually because the possessive soul considers his mate more valuable, precious that he/she is afraid to lose the other one. This possessiveness makes them prevent their mate from speaking with the opposite sex. But the mate might interpret this as suspection. This leads to lot of problems in their relationships .Don't you think that you feel you are protective when you are actually showing your rights on the other person, but what the other person is feeling.Isn't he feeling suffocating??? Obviously, Yes!!! No doubts, on this.No matter, how much intense and close the relation is, but possessiveness, always results in suffocation and break ups.

See the picture above...Meerabai... the lady who was mad in love of Krishna, that she always feel Lord Krishna as her own possession.

" I like the woman who is open and friendly- as long as she is that way only with me!!!" See the image above, this kind of possessiveness shows dominance on the other half. Again , it results in some kind of disaster.

The pictures above show the suspection that rise due to possessiveness between a husband and wife. Excess of rights in any relation always leads to the end of it.Although the reasons are the same, men and women adopt different means of expressing possessiveness. Possessive men become more aggressive, resort to verbal threats, stalk their partners and may become wife batterers. Their wives sometimes perceive the man’s pathological jealousy as a sign of ‘passionate love’. The woman only wakes up to reality when the husband’s behavious cuts her off from the rest of the world.Women, on the other hand, use more subtle forms of aggression such as withdrawal of sex, hiding car keys, or soaking the man’s clothes to frustrate their movement plans.

Insecurity is a complex layer of feelings that masks either real or perceived loss. This may be loss of social position, family or resources. The loss deals a hard blow upon the individual’s self-esteem .Possessiveness is a form of defence mechanism that an individual employs to minimize the perceived harm Through it, he tries to protect the ego and maintain the right psychological equilibrium.

Some people consider possessiveness as togetherness in any relation. But, it is never true.Relationships collapse due to a possessiveness, overdrive and power struggle. Well, we can never reason out our actions in relationships, but awareness always helps in defining our perspective.Possessiveness can never be compared with love because it crushes the individuality of the other person, is selfish, it has natural insecurity and is like a jail with no freedom at all. 

People born with zodiac signs: Cancer(June 22 to July 22) and Taurus(April 21 to May 20) are considered to be highly possessive.

Cancerians has a complex inferiority problem  so that any hurt, imagined or real, is magnified. They sometimes shows a tendency to look back at, and hold on to, things in the past. This is a sign of their inner  possessiveness. 

Taureans Being traditionalists by nature, they can be overwhelmingly possessive. They may also be unwilling to provide the freedom their partner needs to allow a lasting, committed relationship.

So, possessiveness is what present in each and every relation..Sometimes, it's the complementary of affection, sometimes concern , sometimes friendship and sometimes love!!! But, at last, it results in suffering for the two souls being jailed in being possessive...

Perceptions: The Perplexity of Life!!!

The depth of the sea, the horizons of the sky

The beauty of the night, the glory of the sunshine

Reminds me of the highness of the ambitions I have

The stones near the sea, the clouds in the sky

The darkness of the night, the blindness due to sunshine

Make me think of the obstacles to overcome...

Perception is the internal mental world. These are the different perceptions that a human can have for a particular event. It can be of two types:

Internal perception:  When the human try to sense his internal feelings and likes/dislikes.

External perception:  Using the senses to relate to the external world and outside activities.

All activities of human start from the perception. It’s human nature to think on each and every thing going on in its nearby environment. He always makes the first view from the first insight. 

See the two innocent facial expressions.

What comes to your mind???

When you see a small kid running to and fro happily, you assume that the kid is happy.

When you find him staring, you feel he is in search of his mother.

When you find silence at some place, you consider it as a sacred place, or a place of mourning.

Perceptions play a very important role in our life. It describes the personality.

Lets consider few more examples :

Yudhistra's dharma has been overshadowed by krishna's dharma, certainly not in actuality, but definitely in the fragmentary perception of Mahabharata readers and interpreters.The most difficult thing in the process of perception is to make the perception process a comprehensive method of acquiring true knowledge.Our Observations and perceptions are mostly partial, one sided, biased and this defect or limitation that is imposed upon the process of perception gives us a wrong & unclear picture of the object, even if it be God himself, the supreme power of knowledge!!!

There is a common defect present in all perception. The defect is that the mind works through certain blinkers, as it were, and it can look at the object from one point of view. The object is looked upon as an object only and bereft of any other implication in its existence.

When a student is well dressed in class, pretend to be very sincere in his activities, is always blessed with the teacher’s inclination.

When light  enters the eyes,  the images that hit the retina are actually upside down, yet we perceive them as being the right way up.

Look at the picture below:

What do you think , while looking at the first time:

Two faces looking at each other or the vase.???

If you concentrate on the black areas, the two 

faces appear to stand out in front of the white!!!

Or

If you concentrate on the white area, a vase 

seems to stand out in front of the black back-ground.!!!

This is the beauty of perception when you have 

the power to move your mind in number of directions ..

You can think some more also from this picture!!!

In this picture, by concentrating on the white in the centre you can see a woman in the arms of a man,

However, if you focus on the dark grey in the centre of the picture, you can see dolphins.

So, again you see the two versions of reality.But depending on how your mind chooses to interpret that information, will ultimately determine which reality you actually see and experience!!!

We not only perceive things but relationships such as "and" and "or" as well...

Take your hands and hold them up in front of you, separated by a few inches.  You see your hands, of course, and it isn't hard to imagine that perceiving them is a matter of certain patterns of light followed by similar patterns of neural ignition.  But notice that you also perceive your hands as "next to each other," while in fact that perception is not directly presented to you as a stimulus in the way your hands themselves are.

If a baby were looking at the chess set, he or she might respond by attempting to eat the pieces.  A young child may see the pieces as little people.  A chess master may see weaknesses in her position, or traps she may develop.  It all depends on who is doing the looking...

Perception is  all how vast a human mind can visualize different objects!!!